Bold Humility

I once read a book that asked, “what would you do if you were 10 times more bold?” My initial thought was, “Wow, I would get in a lot of trouble!” You see, I am pretty assertive, and assertive people (with two X chromosomes) sometimes get in trouble in this society. Sometimes assertive people (male and female) are seen to lack gentleness, tact, understanding, or empathy. But if you ask an assertive person they would say they are honest, direct, and highly value getting the best result in a timely fashion. Interesting how we see the same actions in a different light...hmmm.

Because people see things so differently, I have become a student of personality types and perspective.  Each year I have my team take personality tests, but can you guess which one they like talking about most? Their own! So would most people! But a common misstep in learning about your personality type is using it as a crutch to justify and stagnate rather than grow, change, or deal with yourself.  Just because there is a box that helps define us, does not mean we have to stay in that box.

In my first few years of being a head coach, when people didn’t like how I went about things, I would find myself getting defensive and falling into the world’s version of, “I’ll do me! You do you.” or “I’m me- if you don’t like me, DEAL WITH IT,” or “it’s not MY problem you are so sensitive.” But how prideful is that?! Even when I moved into a less defensive attitude, I was still sometimes more interested in explaining whatever actions I was currently justifying, and that is still pride. If I think my way is the best way, or only way, I am pretty arrogant.

In the past few years, I have continuously moved into a space where I am more aware of who God has made me to be and how I can best use my giftings and personality for His good.  I have become more intentional about submitting those rough parts of myself to become a little more like Jesus each day and seeking growth. I want to become who I am created to be, not just who I think I should be.

And here is an encouragement for me as a person of faith: God is in the business of “making all things new” (Rev 21:5). It is so good to be self aware and see our strengths and shortcomings for what they are.  But, let’s be careful that we don’t define ourselves in our limitations when God has the power to give us a new mind, new heart, new habits, new perspective, new relationships, and even new circumstances. He can do it all! Our role in our learning process is our humility level. Growth doesn’t happen until humility is present.  When we humble ourselves to let him take control of the renovation process he can get so much more done in a much less abrasive way. In James 4:10 it says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” It is no coincidence that some of my biggest moments of growth came right after my heart posture went from stubborn to humble.

We all have different gifting’s, temperaments, abilities, passions, platforms, and impact.  We are all created to do good work, and each of us needs to consider how to stir up that good work in others with love and truth (See 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 2:10, and Hebrews 10:24). While that will look different for each person, because we are all unique beings, we are all called to growth in Christ.  

So now, a few months after thinking that being “more bold” would be detrimental, I realize I had a wrong view of boldness.  Boldness is not necessarily being brash. Boldness is doing what is right no matter what the cost. Boldness is true courage to act justly in a culture that so glamorizes being right, harsh, first to speak, and putting ideas above people. I see that the truth is if I were 10 times more bold I would also be 1- times more humble. I would stand in truth and love in a culture that only wants one of those at a time, and I would grow more into who God has created me to be each day.